Delhi: Hey brother, Aditya Chopra, who set out on the path to become the next Aditya Dhar, has once again brought his signature speciality — the grand confluence of “Copy-Paste + Propaganda + Unintentional Comedy.” The film is titled Alpha, but after watching the teaser, it feels like the entire Alpha-Beta-Gamma test has already failed miserably.
First, there’s that scene with Bobby Deol. He gets an “A” tattoo inked on his daughter’s shoulder. When the daughter asks, “What is this, Papa?”, Bobby, in a dead-serious tone, replies — “It’s a secret, beta.” Brother, you got it tattooed on her arm and still call it a secret? This is exactly like someone posting their Aadhaar card on Facebook status and writing, “Personal information, please do not share.” In Aditya Chopra’s films, logic meets the same fate every time — first show everything openly, then label it a “secret mission.”

Now comes Alia Bhatt’s turn. Her character’s name is Seeta. Just hearing the name makes film pundits scream — “Propaganda! Propaganda!” Watching Alia going on a “mission,” it looks less like she’s out to save the country and more like she’s on a honey-trap operation targeting some Pakistani spy. If a sleeveless scene comes in the middle, the entire country will shout — “Arre! Gangadhar hi Shaktimaan hai!” Security agencies will also be put on high alert wondering whether this is a mission or just a fashion week.
Yash Raj Films’ previous movie was badly thrashed at the box office. And now, even before the new film’s release, people are already commenting under the teaser: “First day, first show? Bro, on that same day I’ll watch Dhurandhar again.” Rehearsals for thrashing the film are already in full swing days before its release. One can’t even imagine what will happen after it actually hits the theatres.

To promote the film, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, and even Dhruv Rathee have stepped in. When so many “Dhurandhars” come together to promote a single film, you should understand that there is less content and more agenda. On one side “Mission Alpha,” on the other side “Mission Agenda Setting.”In short, Aditya Chopra sahab has once again repeated his old formula — a little bit of action, heaps of flaws, one spoon of propaganda, and Alia Bhatt standing with a serious face. The audience is already fully prepared — popcorn in one hand and the mood to roast the film in the other.
Alpha is coming, but the film’s brain is still stuck in the Beta version.



